Honouring Your Inner Child: REPARENTING

WHAT IS REPARENTING?

Reparenting means allowing the needs of you inner child to be met.

Inner child is basically the subpersonality we all carry within us. It consists of the wounded parts of self. It stores all our emotional experiences from our childhood. These experiences might have a meaning that we attached with it as a child. These emotional experiences and the meaning we attached, guide and affect our adult behaviour and relationships around us.

Reparenting involves providing love and safety to your inner child that he/she did not receive as a child.

Uncovering the facade…

As children we learned to cover up our true feelings by something acceptable in that moment. For example, if you lived in an abusive environment and expressing your anger would get you into more danger, you learned to shut yourself emotionally. Instead of expressing your emotions, you decided to “not react at all”. This strategy would have worked in that abusive environment, when you were a child.

But what happens when you carry the same strategies that you learned as a child into your adulthood?

Would shutting yourself down emotionally every time you experience intense emotions and restricting their flow, work in healthy adult relationships?

The answer would be ‘NO’. Because every relationship in your life is different and the same strategies you might have used in an unsafe environment as a child might not be the best when it comes to different relationships, especially in healthy adult relationships. Adult relationships works best with communication and transparency. Not by covering up your true feelings and not acknowledging them at all.

Healing your inner child’s wounds…

First step of healing comes from listening. LISTEN TO YOUR INNER CHILD. Ask yourself this question: What does your inner child desires?

The second step is IDENTIFYING THE INCIDENTS or situations when the inner child felt that his /her needs were left unmet.

The third step is ACKNOWLEDGINGTHAT WHAT HAPPENED to you was painful and it caused you hurt, anger, sadness or any other emotions.

Fourth step is IDENTIFYING THE STRATEGIES you learned as a child in those environments to protect yourself.

The fifth step is UNLEARNING THOSE LIFE LESSONS AND STRATEGIES that you used to protect yourself back then and are still carrying it and practising it in your adulthood.

The sixth step is REPLACING THE UNHEALTHY STRATEGIES with healthy ones.

The final step is LETTING YOUR INNER CHILD FEEL SAFE AND LOVED. And understand that it is not only safe to express your needs as an adult but also, doing so will help you meet your needs and have healthy relationships around you.

Reparenting means honouring your inner and being your inner hurt child’s own parent.

The child who is playful, distressed at times, felt hurt, felt anger, the child that cries, the child that tries, the child that makes mistakes, the child that learns, the child that felt neglected, abandoned, the child who is sensitive, and the child who is HUMAN.